Warning: this blog explores the trauma around abuse – without being specific on any cases/incidents. Do not read further if this is an area you don’t want to awaken in your mind/heart.
Yesterday I was at the first showing of a documentary by Piers Cross and Ben Cole entitled Boarding on Insanity https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film . It explores through victim/survivor testimony and expert psychological reflections, the Trauma which can be inflicted through criminal abuse. It also explores the trauma of being removed from your home and family which can haunt you throughout your life. A theme throughout is wondering about the suitability of boarding school survivors wielding the power over our lives in so many areas of government and social/health management.
The film will be fully released on 15th March – the 35th anniversary of the death of one of Piers’s closest allies at school.
Those who know me will be aware that I have been working alongside some victim/survivors of criminal sexual abuse at my school for the last 7 years. We have achieved a public Acknowledgement, a programme of supportive Gatherings for victim/survivors, and financial support for therapeutic help. At the end of May, as the culmination of the recommendations coming from a mediation process we inititiated, we are curating an event of reconciliation for survivors/victims, family, allies and the school current management.
I was not abused at school – either criminally or in peer-to-peer bullying. I like so many others found my invisibility cloak very handy. Other friends were not so lucky, but for 30-40 years they stayed silent about what had happened to them. It is this silence, secrecy, cover-up, and initial denials across the sector that I find drives me on to keep pushing for change.
However, unlike many in the documentary I saw yesterday, I do see the value of boarding school – maybe because I know nothing else for my own growing up. I did not have a father in my world (until a wonderful Step Father in my teens). My mother worked & lived during the week in London and I would see her for a bit of the weekend. I was brought up by Nan (my grandmother) who could not have been a better care giver, encourager, and champion. My local primary school seemed fine to me, although I never completed it as I was sent away.
I naively went through life until about 40 in denial that psychologically my childhood had an effect on my adult lifestyle. It is even now only as I listen to this documentary and read more about trauma that I put the jigsaw pieces together and see how I was fashioned from this ‘emotional neglect’ to quote Nick Duffield.
I went to a school which is focussed on giving educational excellence to those from disadvantaged backgrounds. Almost all my contemporaries came from single parent homes or deeply challenging backgrounds. There were a few fee-paying parents, but most of us had free places supported by fundraising from the school. We were all dressed identically and all the uniform was supplied. Music and drama were deeply embedded in the school. [OK it did sport too I seem to remember, but that didn’t really reach me].
I found the theatre, it became my full-time job alongside study, and it has been my career for 50 years. Our drama department was also a safe haven, I now realise, for many traumatised friends.
The documentary will encourage debate, and it is absolutely right that there is a movement growing around the need for 4 things to be put in place, as highlighted yesterday:
- Mandatory reporting of all abuse – and this is part of a 2025 Bill in debate
- Ensuring these schools are not just for the privileged – but that through all schools, boarding and not, we educate a new more empathetic generation of leaders who reflect the population as a whole.
- That all schools embed trauma informed practice through staff training and include honest engagement and learning for young people in an age appropriate manner.
- And that there is a reduction (some called yesterday for banning) of early years boarding. The debate will rage over what is the right age, but for me NOT until 12-13 when you might go to a High School.
The documentary does focus on historic criminal and non-criminal abuse. There is nothing historic about the pain carried through the lives of those witnesses who came forward and hundreds more.
The debate can/should also embrace the good things that charitable foundations can do, both boarding and mixed day/boarding. It can also explore the changes which have happened since 1990 with the Child Protection Act and more recently in the light of Saville and many others.
But sadly my/our work is not done. There are 8 abusers who have gone to prison from my school, but there are others from across the school sector (not only boarding) who remain ‘hiding in plain sight’ and with a propensity to sexually abuse or torment in many other ways the children in their care. Abusers are still at large, I am sure, who the police have not been able to bring to justice because of a lack of evidence. I have learned how truly painful it is for a victim/survivor to come forward and be part of a prosecution. Many victims stay silent from the authorities, from their family, and even as I know from their old classmates.
As my colleagues and I move forward to the event at the end of May, I spend a lot of time at my old school in meetings. I know the amazing work being done by the small charity set up by ex pupils to support people in hardship. I know the determination of the current Head and the new Chair of the Governors to root out anything /anyone that could cause Trauma in a young person. I see a less secret/denial & brutal society than I was part of back in the 70s and others experienced into the 00s.
I applaud Piers and Ben and especially all the survivors who came forward to have their stories heard. You are not alone. Your stories need to be heard. Our event in May is rightly called Lost Voices Heard. It will be painful, but it is wholly necessary.
If you need support there is a new body, Seen and Heard, established recently to offer signposting for people who may need it https://seenheard.org.uk/. There is also the well established Boarding School Survivors network https://www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk/ Thank you for reading.